The Sad Truth
by Otaku Nation
Summary: Ludwig, a prisoner of war in England, remembers his past in Germany, and the sad truth of this world, while Feliciano, the servant of a wealthy Austrian aristocrat, recalls his painful past as he waits for freedom. A WWII story following the real events that happened from a real point of view. Rated T for cursing, violence, war, death, boy x boy. Review for next chapter!
1. The Sad Truth

"There is nothing in this world

worse than the agony of finding,

and then losing,

love."

"And I should know,

so very well,

what that feels like."

"Here,

let me tell you my story...


	2. Schlacht, A Life in Turmoil

Part I: Schlacht

_We were meant to live for so much more,_

_And we lost ourselves._

_Somewhere we live inside,_

_Somewhere we live inside..._

Name: Ludwig Beilschmidt

Location: POW (Prisoner of War) Camp, Sutton Bridge, London, England

Date: Not Specified, 1940

State: Mid-War

I can smell the river Thames as it rushes by, pushed by the pouring rain that runs down my damp face and drips off me. It does nothing to cool my aching body as the butt of the soldiers gun knocks into my side. I stumble across the bridge, keeping my gaze on my boots and water soaked uniform, which is smeared with dirt and caked in dried blood from the battlefield that lingers in my mind. Gunfire, ultimately deafening. So many killed, and no time to bat an eyelash. One thing they tell you about the war in Germany is true: It'll change a man.

Indeed. And change it does. You do things you never thought you would out there. You take seemingly innocent lives with the pull of a trigger, and that's one thing I hoped to never do. I still hope never to do it, although the blood of their dead bodies still coats my hands. Innocent blood, even though I know as well as anyone that no man on a battlefield is innocent, or stays that way for long.

I'm being carted away, just me. Everyone else is dead, I suppose. I don't really care. All I care about is where they're taking me and when I can get back home. My older brother, Gilbert, is also at war. He's located in the East, and has been fighting for three years. I used to worry about his safety until I had my own to think about too. I'm sure he's fine; nothing has ever fazed my brother, though he's had to care for me his whole life. Our parents are both dead; the building we'd lived in got bombed when we were little and our Grandpa Fritz had died a few years earlier. We've always fended for ourselves; I guess that's why I survived the raid on my camp last week. Or was it last month?

Time flies when you're in submission.

I look up only to realize I've been brought inside. The soldier behind me, who's been relatively silent the whole time, whispers something to another man with a set of keys in hand. The key-holder nods and turns to me.

"What's you're name?" he asks me in English. I know English like my own language, but for some reason I fake misunderstanding, shaking my head.

"Ich spreche kein Englisch." I say with a thick accent, receiving a loud groan of disappointment from the man. He converses with the soldier quickly, who nods, salutes, and leaves. The key-holder shakes his head, turning to look at me.

Back ridged, eyes pointing straight ahead, I watch as he circles me.

"Don't speak English, eh?" he says, trailing a finger over my shoulders. I shiver, holding my breath. "I know just what to do with damn soldiers like you..."

Within seconds I'm thrust heavily into a cell, stumbling across the damp floor to fall against the wall. I hear a harsh laugh from behind the bars and a loud, screeching sound reaches my ears. I turn just in time to see the last strip of light fade and disappear as the metal grill is lowered.

I'm very aware of my breathing and the room seems to drop at least ten degrees. I shiver, goosebumps appearing on my arms under my clothes, and I slide down the wall. I know I'm alone in here, I just don't want to accept it. My eyes widen and try miserably to adjust, but eventually give up. I'm left in darkness.

And I start to sing.

"_Deutschland, Deutschland über alles,_" I pause to see if anyone heard. Getting no response, I continue.

"_Über alles in der Welt, Wenn es stets zu Schutz und Trutze. Brüderlich zusammenhält_-"

"Shut your bloody trap, Nazi scum! It's only been an hour and you've already gone mad!" I hear the voice of a man scream, a large pounding coming from the cell door. I close my mouth.

And wait.

Just wait.

_We were meant to live for so much more,_

_And we lost ourselves._

_Somewhere we live inside,_

_Somewhere we live inside..._

Schlacht: German for "Battle"

Ich spreche kein Englisch: German for "I don't speak English"

The song Ludwig sings is in German and is called "Das Lied der Deutschen" or quite literally "Song of the Germans". It was Germany's official national Anthem during WWII. The lyrics that I put in translate to:

Deutschland, Deutschland über alles: Germany, Germany above all.

Über alles in der Welt: Above everything in the world.

Wenn es stets zu Schutz und Trutze: When always for protection.

Brüderlich zusammenhält: We stand together as brothers.

The song is called "Meant to Live" by Switchfoot. I thought it represented the beginning of this story well.

Please review; your comments make my day!


	3. Tristezza, Never Ending Pain

Part 2: Tristezza

_I walk a lonely road,_

_The only one that I have ever known._

_Don't know where it goes,_

_But it's home to me and I walk alone..._

A life; one worth living every day of every week, is a life for fools.

That is the truth.

Eyes down, bow to the guests, sweep faster, make eye contact when talking. It's not a hard life, mine, but it certainly isn't easy. Never was, never has been. I guess at one point it was nice, but that must have been before the war claimed my grandfather and took my older brother away. He's still out there, somewhere.

I was forced to work as a servant to a wealthy aristocrat when my brother, Lovino, left. He always told me I was a good kid, so I figure, instead of going off to the dreaded war, I'd bide my time. Originally from Italy, I grew up in a pretty good environment. I came here to Austria after the start of the war, hoping to find good work.

Well, I obviously did, but that's not the point. Life here is hard. Every day is the same, yet every day is different. I remember my first day in Austria, two years ago. My brother had just left for war and I'd been pretty desperate. That's when I met _him_.

He had short, blond hair and piercing blue eyes that I could lose myself in. I don't know when, but at some point I realized I wasn't a normal child. Not like the boys from my home town, but not like the girls either. My brother is the same; he told me not to worry too much about it. It's called being "homosexual", and it means I don't like girls. The only thing I was told besides it being okay, was that I shouldn't tell a soul, lest they do horrible things to me.

Unspeakable things...

I realize I'd stopped sweeping and quickly got back to moving the broom. Back and forth, back and forth; left, right, left, right. Day after day after day after-

"Feliciano!" I hear my name called and almost drop the broom. Wiping my hands on my apron, I walk quietly into the next room.

Everything in this house is big to me. The windows that soar to the ceiling, the sofa that comes up to my waist. I don't feel short, I'm barely nineteen anyway, but the house is just so unnecessarily _big_! Who needs all this space anyway? It's only my boss and his secretary, and I think they're becoming a couple. Such an absurdly huge house must cost a lot of money, especially with the war and all. Aren't they being targeted?

My boss, who I've never called anything but "Sir" or "Mister", sits in the room at a small table, holding a book close to his face though he's not reading it. He looks a bit flustered, as if he's nervous about something he can't hide well. I bow once when I reach him, folding my hands together.

"Yes, Sir. What can I do for you?" I ask politely. This seems to snap him out of it, seeing as he straitens his jacket and sits up straighter at the words.

"Would you fetch me some tea, please?" he says, setting down his book. I can see the title, printed in English. It says "_A Love, A Life_" and I can barely conceal my smile once I've read it. I nod, turning to leave, when I hear him clear his throat.

"Yes?" I ask, about to turn back.

"N-no! It's fine, don't turn around." at this I smile, picturing the mans' face as he stops me. It looks priceless in my mind. "U-um... Can you bring Elizabeta back with you?"

With a nod, I continue to leave. Once outside I allow myself to giggle, bringing a hand up to muffle the sound, unsure of what would happen to me if I'm caught laughing at him. I compose myself as I reach the kitchen, thanking the cook, who is slightly older than me, for the tea. I walk carefully towards the Mistress' bedroom, knocking at her door respectfully.

Unlike my boss, Elizabeta insists that we call her by her name, and first name at that. All the servants and maids love her; she's absolutely nice and she talks to the master like he's a child. And, the best part, he completely listens to her! I hear her call "Come in!" from the other side and walk in.

Elizabeta is sitting at the window seat, looking out at the gray sky with a look of sadness. When I come in she looks up, smiling brightly.

"Hello Feli! How are you?" she asks. I smile, not to be polite but just because she makes me want to. I nod respectfully before replying.

"I'm great. And how are you, Miss?" I ask. She blushes a bit and laughs.

"Please, call me Elizabeta. And I'm fine." she looks at the tea tray in my hand and gives me a puzzled look. I remember why I'm here and straiten up a bit.

"I've come to take you to the Master; he wishes to see you." I say, making it clear with my eyes that I mean _see_. She sighs, then laughs, and I smile at her happily.

"Okay," she says, rising. She wears a long white dress that sways around her slipper adorned feet. If I liked girls, I'm sure I'd have a crush on Liz; but I only see her as a friend. In this situation, being homosexual is a plus.

I lead her to the room my boss is in, which is called the "Drawing Room". I used to think the name was very funny, since no one ever did art in that room, but I eventually learned not to be so childish and dropped it. You have to be mature when working as a servant. When I open the door, the man inside stands. His hands are visibly shaking, so he folds them behind himself. Elizabeta, seeing this, shares an amused look with me before she walks over to the man.

"Roderich," she addresses, and I nearly drop the tray. Was that his _first name_ she just used? My boss sits after helping Liz into her chair, and motions for me. I come over, setting down the tea cups, saucers, sugar, cream, and tea pot on the table. I pour both of them a cup, bow, and leave the room quickly. Not a word is said as I do this, and I'm really eager to know what happened after I left, but I say nothing

At dinner Master and Liz are sitting in their usual seats across from each other at both heads of the table. The servants, of course, don't eat with them. For the first time I'm grateful of this, because gossip in this house, no matter how big it seems to be, spreads like wildfire. I serve the meal, which consists of a delicious looking beef stew and bread, bow, and leave for the barracks where I will eat.

It turns out nothing happened once I left. A maid, who's name is Hannah, said she caught the Mistress in her room an hour later, staring out at the sky as she had been when I'd arrived. Hannah said she'd looked a bit sad, but mostly the same.

We all swore we'd kill the Master if he made her sad.

The reason I eat with the maids is because I'm the only servant. I think it's because the Master doesn't want anyone looking at his secretary, or the other way around. Although Elizabeta could very well have a crush on me, she doesn't seem to have eyes for anyone but "Roderich", which makes us all very happy. A romantic house is the best one to work for, after all.

After dinner we clear our plates, then do all the dishes. Since I'm the only boy, I am the Masters' personal servant. I am the only one allowed in his room, save for Elizabeta is she's asked too. I make the Masters' bed, help him get ready every day, and do whatever he asks. I guess that's why I'm the only boy; he doesn't see me as a treat. I guess they've guessed I'm not a "normal" boy at this point, whatever that means.

When I come to the boss' room after dinner to help him get ready for bed, he's staring intently at his own reflection in his long mirror. He's wearing nothing but his boxers, and, although this doesn't bug me one bit, I can't help but blush when I walk in. He turns, nodding toward me, and then resumes staring at his reflection. I get his nightclothes from his closet, walking over to him silently.

He nods again, motioning for me to dress him. I help him pull on his shirt and begin to button it up quietly.

"Feliciano," he says hesitantly. I'm halfway done buttoning, but look up anyway. He is blushing slightly and I can't help but think he looks cute. "What do you think of Elizabeta?"

Without pause I answer, "She is very beautiful and is a very nice lady."

"Yes, she is isn't she?" he says, a far away look in his eyes. I bite my lip to keep from smiling as I finish putting on his shirt and move to his pants.

"Was there a point to that question?" I ask hesitantly. He shakes his head distantly, suddenly looking very young and vulnerable. He could be considered as "Young Master", but since he's so high in the government and lives on his own we just call him "Master". In fact, I think he's only twenty-one; Elizabeta being twenty.

"What-... Do you-..." he begins, then pauses. "Have you ever loved someone?"

Not missing a beat I nod slowly, finished dressing him. He sits on his bed, expecting me to elaborate. I sigh, standing before him sadly.

"There was someone, once, who I love a lot. But he... he went to war a while back and, well, I don't think he's going to come back."

"What do you mean you 'don't think'." Roderich asks. I look up, realizing I'd been staring at my feet. I wipe at my right eye quickly.

"Well, he's... he's d-dead." I say simply, cursing the stutter in my voice. His eyes widen and he sits back, obviously shocked.

"You act so happy... I never knew..." he looks up, meeting my eyes. "I'm very sorry about that."

I wipe my eyes again, smiling. "It's okay. We were very young. It's been years since I found out."

He nods sadly, folding his hands together. He has long, elegant fingers that look perfect for playing piano or some other kind of instrument.

To change the subject, I ask. "Do you play an instrument?"

He starts at that, confusion playing on his face.

"I-I mean, I know it's not my business to ask, but your hands just look like they'd be perfect for playing something like piano or something..." I trail off, seeing his eyes soften a bit.

"No, but that's not the first time I've heard that." he says. His eyes are still soft when he asks, "Can you play an instrument?"

"Yes, actually." I say with a smile, happy for the new topic. It's not normal to talk with the Master, especially to catch him in such a mood as this, and I happily took this conversation to heart, knowing it would be a while until this happens again. "I can play piano."

"Well, if you wouldn't mind, maybe you could teach me some time?" he says, smiling a bit. I nod my head eagerly back, bowing, about to take my leave.

"Of course, any time! Good night, Sir."

"Oh, and Feliciano?" he asks as I'm about to leave. I turn, seeing him smile happily. "You can call me Roderich from now on."

"Of course," I say. "Sleep well."

I close the door with a smile, sighing happily. Maybe this life wasn't so bad.

Maybe, eventually, I wouldn't be as lonely.

And maybe, just maybe, someday I could find love again.

Or maybe it will find me.

_I walk this empty street,_

_On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams._

_When the city sleeps,_

_And I'm the only one and I walk alone..._

Tristezza: Sadness in Italian

The song is Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day.

I do not own Hetalia :)

Please review, your comments make my day!

Thanks,

Kira-san~


End file.
